Making the decision to choose sobriety over drug and alcohol use is extremely difficult. When you are addicted to these substances, the road to recovery can be extremely hard. If you have decided to quit using, but your partner has not things can be a bit tricky. You cannot make your mate choose to become sober with you. However, it is important for you to stay true to yourself. If you have gotten sober and your partner is not ready to quit, it is important to make sure that you set up healthy boundaries and communicate clearly with your partner in order to successfully stay sober.

Recovery: Is it Possible when your Mate Continues to Drink or Use?

In a perfect world everyone that you know would support your plans to quit using drugs, smoking, or drinking. Ideally, all of the alcohol and drugs would disappear from your world when you decide to not use them anymore. However, we do not live in a perfect world and chances are high that you have been hanging out with people who have the same habits that you are trying to quit. Just because you have decided to be sober does not mean that they will.

The question becomes, how do you make your sobriety fit into the real world? What if your best friends and mates and the people you love continue to use drugs and alcohol in a way that you do not want to anymore?

Choosing Relationships Wisely

When you decide to recover from drug or alcohol abuse the road is going to be tough. You want to be around people who support your decision. It is not easy to cut people from your life, especially those that you have come to know and love. However, if you are newly sober, surrounding yourself with people who are still involved in unhealthy behaviors can be difficult. Maintaining these relationships may simply not be worth it if you are truly ready for your recovery. If you do decide to maintain these relationships there must be rules in place.

It is important to learn your triggers. Your triggers are things that remind you of using your drug of choice. It can be anything from a certain place to a smell to even a song on the radio that reminds you of being high. During early sobriety learning these triggers and what to do when they occur is important.

If you are in a relationship and your mate is still using the most important thing that you can do is to communicate openly and honestly. Set boundaries about what you can be around and if the boundaries are not honored, leave the situation. You can ask them to quit, but do not expect them to change just because you have. Seek support as needed.


It is possible to recover even when your mate is continuing to use. However, the road can be more difficult and you need to consider your own personal health and whether or not the relationship is worth the risk to your new-found sobriety.


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